#my rnm ff

[voidsteffy]

cmon you took like half of my choices there🥺

but thanks for da taggg

1] Kathani Sharma with Anthony Bridgerton (Bridgerton)

2] Ming with Jin Lee (Turning Red)

3] Bheem with Ram (RRR)

4] Dave Rygalski with Lane Kim (Gilmore Girls) - they're my smol beans, and if Lane doesn't want him hey Dave I'm open for marriage

5] Lara Jean with John Ambrose (in my mind they got married later in life okay? shut up)

6] George Fan with Ned Nickerson (book people chill, I mean the CW series ship)

this is my fav gif of them ugh they're so goofy and smollllll

7] Alex Manes with Michael Guerin (Roswell New Mexico)

( an honorable mention is RNM Echo because even I look for Max Evans in a man )

8] Taissa with Vanessa (Yellowjackets)

9] Connor Rhodes with Robin Charles (Chicago Med) - Was I the ONLY one who shipped them ffs? They're pretty good as a couple, if they were given enough time they could've been developed properly

10] Asha with Ravi (The Wedding Season)

tagging: anyone who wants to do this because I'd love to know more poc ships to root forrrr

Top 10 favorite ships involving POC in 10 different fandoms

I was tagged by @childofsquidward thanks <3

1) Liz Ortecho/Max Evans (Roswell New Mexico) my otp, the loves of my life, I’m sorry I’ll shut up now

also cheating cause I can (Liz Ortecho/Max Evans/Kyle Valenti)

2) Bonnie Bennett/Caroline Forbes/Elena Gilbert (The Vampire Diaries)

3) Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood (the Mortal Instruements)

4) Aisha/Grey (Fate the Winx Saga)

5) Inej Ghafa/Kaz Brekker (Shadow and Bone)

6) Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)

7) Flo Bones/George Karim (Lockwood and Co.)

couldn’t find a gif I liked :( meaning I should gif more of them tbh

8) Eleanor Shellstrop/Tahani Al-Jamil (the Good Place)

9) Emma Hill/Charlie Nicoletti (The Company You Keep)

10) Simon Basset/Daphne Bridgerton (Bridgerton)

no pressure tags @ajna-eye-cogitations @lesbianmaxevans @crepuscularqueens @cryoverkiltmilk @ladynox @beautifulcheat @thesquidkid @voidsteffy and literally anyone who wants to <3

[chiefnooniensingh]

I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Epilogue

Epilogue: I thank the oceans (for giving me you)

In this chapter: Michael and Alex reflect on that fateful train ride.

A/n: I wasn't going to make you wait a full week for this epilogue! I can't believe it's over you guys, what a wonderful ride! I hope you guys enjoyed it. And if anyone has an au in mind that they want me to ride, hit me up! I'm looking for new inspiration!

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@eddiediazs) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don't know if I would've finished it without you guys!

Last chapter hasn't been guessed yet, so give it a go! Can anyone guess this chapter's?

Also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

19th of October, 1945

The war was over. Paris had been liberated for over a year, but the war itself had only been over for 5 months. Michael and Alex had recently returned to their city, to find it miraculously undamaged and their flat only marginally ransacked. They’d never had much valuables anyway. They cleaned up their flat, settled back into their lives and it was almost as if the war hadn’t happened.

Alex and Michael had waited out the war in the countryside, living with a large farming family who treated them like their own. In the last year before the liberation, a young child who’d lost both her parents in the camps joined them, and Michael and Alex became her surrogate parents. When they returned to Paris, she came with them.

Alex was looking at her sleeping now, his darling girl, the beautiful and genius Mara. If he hadn’t known she wasn’t related to them, he would’ve sworn she was Michael’s kid. Cheeky, optimistic, chaotic and infinitely smarter than him. Alex loved her so much it ached to look at her now.

It was 4AM. The house was quiet and dark, the autumn chill already creeping in through the windows and the cracks. Alex shivered, gave his daughter one last look and returned to his own bedroom, to his husband in their bed. He crawled back under the covers and pressed himself against Michael, who was always warm and chased away the night chill. Michael jerked awake with a hiss. “Jesus Christ, Alex.”

“Sorry,” Alex muttered, buried his cold nose in Michael’s neck.

“You okay?” Michael asked softly, flipping over and wrapping his arms around Alex. “Why were you out of bed?”

“It’s been ten years.”

Michael looked at the clock on his nightstand and let out a long breath. “It has.”

Alex closed his eyes and curled into Michael’s chest. It was the reason he’d woken up so suddenly. His nightmares only rarely brought him back to that fateful train ride anymore, but tonight they’d come back with a vengeance. On the day Noah Bracken was murdered, setting events in motion that eventually led to Alex letting 8 people get away with murder. “Do you regret it?” It was a question they always asked each other around the 19th.

“No,” Michael said, his voice trembling a little. “Never. None of us,” Alex knew Michael meant the 8 passengers with whom he had committed the crime, “would’ve been able to move on if we hadn’t done it.” Alex nodded. “Do you regret letting us get away with it?”

“No,” Alex said, without hesitation. “Noah Bracken was a monster. He deserved punishment, and the system wouldn’t deliver. You did. It wasn’t just, but it was right.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around Michael and squeezing tightly. “But it’s something I will always have to live with.”

Michael nodded, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Yeah. Me, too.”

Alex looked up at his husband, his heart melting when their eyes met. The ten years since the Orient Express had been kind to him. The curls were still as wild as ever, Michael had even grown them out more, providing Alex with plenty of hair to run his hands through. His eyes were filled with warmth, love and laughter. There were small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes now, and those on his forehead reflected the worries and burdens he’d had to bear these past ten years.

They’d both grown up. Both seen and done stuff they carried with them forever. But they’d fought for their love and their life and they’d won. They’d survived the war and even managed to raise a child together.

“You know, when all is said and done, I’m grateful for that train ride,” Alex said, nudging Michael’s nose with his own.

“What do you mean?” Michael asked softly, nipping Alex’s lips with his.

Alex pressed a kiss to his husband’s mouth and smiled. “Because it brought us back together. Despite the terrible things that happened there, we found each other again. I never thought I’d see you again, and then I stepped on board that train and there you were. You were haunted by the ten years since we’d last seen each other, troubled by the horrible crime you were about to commit. But still beautiful. You were cold and distant, and yet I knew instantly I had never stopped loving you.”

Michael nodded. “I instantly knew that the plan was doomed, when I saw you. I knew I wouldn’t be able to lie to you for too long. For ten years, I loved you from afar and suddenly, there you were, in the most critical moment of my life.” He shook his head. “I’m still impressed with myself I lasted as long as I did.”

Alex laughed. “Well, you never actually told me anything. I figured most things out by myself.”

“You were scarily accurate, I was so proud.”

“The world is built on logic – ”

“ – one just needs to learn to see it,” Michael finished with a smile. “You are still insufferably modest.” Alex just shrugged and snuggled close to his husband again. “I love you, Alex Guerin.”

Alex’s stomach did a summersault, as it did every time Michael called him by his full name. He’d left the ‘Manes’-name behind long ago, but hearing his married name spoken with so much love and adoration that Michael always put into it, always made him giddy. “I love you, too, Michael Guerin.”

Michael leaned in for a kiss, the two of them entwined together in their bed. The kiss started out chaste and loving, but as Alex pulled Michael’s hips against his own, it turned hungry fast. Michael groaned, and Alex felt a burning longing to draw out more lovely sounds. With one swift movement, he pushed Michael on his back and climbed on top of him. Alex pinned Michael’s hands against the pillow beneath him and dove in for another hungry kiss. He pressed his hips down into Michael, drawing out another sweet moan from his throat. “Alex, please,” Michael whined when Alex broke their kiss to trail his lips down Michael’s throat. “Please, my love…”

“I like it when you beg,” Alex murmured, playfully biting at his husband’s earlobe.

“I like it when you get me off,” Michael growled, bucking his hips to cause some more friction between them. Alex gasped and Michael looked victorious. Alex sat up, his hands braced on Michael’s chest. Michael’s hands immediately found purchase on Alex’s hips.

They were both still fully clothed, and that was unacceptable. With a swift motion, Alex got rid of Michael’s shirt and then his own, letting his hands roam appreciatively over Michael’s chest. No matter how often Alex looked upon his naked husband, he never became any less attractive. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

“Yes, yes,” Michael said impatiently, arching off the bed when Alex playfully flicked a nipple. “Now, please, Alex!” He sounded absolutely wrecked, and Alex grinned. They hadn’t even started yet.

Alex bent down and trailed kisses from the hollow of Michael’s throat all the way down to the waistband of his pyjamas. “Don’t move, Michael. You know the drill.” Grabbing hold of the pants, he began, slowly, torturously, pulling the pants down, trailing kissing on newly exposed skin as he went. Michael was panting heavily, his hands fisted in the sheets as he tried to keep himself from grabbing Alex’s hair and kissing him senseless. Alex grinned against the inside of Michael’s thigh, lightly scraping his teeth against the sensitive skin there, causing Michael to shiver. He looked up to see Michael biting his lip to restrain himself, and Alex tutted, sitting up and pulling Michael’s lip from between his teeth. “None of that,” Alex chided, letting a single finger absentmindedly slide up Michael’s cock, with only the lightest of touches. “You know I want to hear you.”

“You fucker,” Michael growled, “God, please, I can’t take it, please, Alex, god damnit, fuck…”

Alex laughed, leaning over to the nightstand to grab the bottle of lube stashed there. He sat back up and moved to sit between Michael’s legs, who spread them eagerly. “Look at you,” Alex whispered. “So eager.”

“Fuck you,” Michael spat, his eyes half-closed with pleasure. Alex enjoyed Michael’s absolutely filthy mouth when Alex was toying with him like this. He knew Michael was enjoying this as much as Alex was.

“I think I’d rather fuck you today,” Alex said, coating two fingers in lube. He bent over Michael, pressed a small kiss to the tip of his weeping cock and then took him in his mouth. Michael let out a string of curses and threw his head back. While Alex was sucking him off, he spread his ass a little wider and gently pushed a single finger inside him. Michael groaned as he felt Alex enter him.

Alex watched his husband closely, watching the familiar and wildly attractive look of ecstasy come over his face. He gently began pushing his finger in and out, allowing Michael to adjust to the presence and waiting as long as needed before pushing the second finger inside as well. Michael let out a wrecked sob, music to Alex’s ears. He hollowed his cheeks around Michael’s cock, and Michael gave a strangled yell. “That’s it,” Alex whispered, letting Michael’s cock pop from his mouth, “let me hear you, my darling.”

“Alex,” Michael whined, looking absolutely wrecked as Alex pushed his fingers into Michael again and again. “Please, I’m ready, please, please, my love…” Michael’s face was flushed with pleasure and despair, Alex felt his own cock throb, desperate to fuck his husband. But he wasn’t going to do anything before he was sure Michael was well and truly ready. So he picked up the lube, dribbled more on his hand and then gently added a third. Michael sobbed. “I love you, I love you, I love you, please, Alex…” he babbled, his head thrashing against the pillow, and Alex knew he was ready.

He fished a condom out of the nightstand and hastened to put it on himself. “Alright, my darling,” Alex whispered, leaning over Michael to kiss him softly, “I got you.”

Michael raised his hips, his entire body begging for Alex to just fuck him already. Alex lined himself up and slowly pushed into Michael, allowing him time to adjust. Michael let out a long, drawn-out moan that made Alex nearly come on the spot. “Oh baby,” Michael croaked out, “Alex…please…move.” He jerked his hips and Alex hissed, pleasure shooting up his spine. Alex obeyed, pulling out and pushing back in, finding a rhythm they had perfected over the last decade, that he knew would unravel Michael faster than anything else. “Yes…” Michael moaned, reaching up to grab Alex’s head and pull him down. Their mouths crashed together, and they kissed sloppily, between moans and heavy breaths, as Alex sped up his movements gradually. “I love you,” Michael whispered, wrapping his arms around Alex and burying his face in Alex’s shoulder. Alex let his head drop against Michael’s shoulder in return, trying to hold off his own orgasm. But he was close. And he could tell Michael was as well.

“I love you,” Alex whispered. Michael’s hips jerked, sending a thrill of pleasure through Alex, making him gasp and bite down on Michael’s neck. Michael groaned. “Come on, baby,” Alex urged him. “Come for me, I want to feel you come for me.” He reached down and wrapped a hand around Michael’s cock. Michael jerked, his hands flying into Alex’s hair.

“So – so close,” he panted. His eyes were locked on Alex, and they looked at each other intently as they drove each other to the brink. Soft ah, ah, ah’s slowly turned to high-pitched whines and soon enough, Michael exploded underneath Alex’s expert ministration. Alex didn’t slow down, but fucked through Michael’s orgasm, now chasing his own. Michael let his hands roam down Alex’s back and grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer. Alex lost all control. Growling, he sped up, so close, wanting…needing. “Come for me, Alex Guerin,” Michael whispered, and that was that on that. For a second, everything went white as he came, shuddering, his arms giving out and falling, wrecked, on top of his husband, who caught him effortlessly.

They lay together, panting, for several minutes, Alex still inside of Michael, neither feeling any inclination to move. “God, that was amazing,” Michael finally said, drawing a laugh from Alex. “It’s like you get better every time.”

“You make me want to be better. Watching you come apart beneath me is…highly arousing.” Alex finally extracted himself from Michael’s embrace, pulling on his bathrobe and padding over to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and clean himself up. He returned with a warm, damp towel and he cleaned Michael best he could, despite the man’s genuine dislike of moving after sex. When they were both a semblance of clean, Alex fell into bed again, wrapping his arms around Michael and closing his eyes. There was light on the horizon, signalling that the day was about to start, but neither felt the need. Friday was their day off, and they wouldn’t have to move until Mara demanded breakfast.

The events of that one week ten years ago would always be a part of them. October would always be a difficult month. But they had each other, they had Mara, they’d made a life for themselves, as good, upstanding citizens. Life wasn’t always easy, but Alex felt that with his husband and his daughter there with him, he could handle anything.

So Alex snuggled closer to Michael and closed his eyes, knowing the nightmares wouldn’t come back today.

He fell asleep, content and happy, with Michael right there next to him. Side by side.

Where they belonged.

[ineedahugesticktobeatyou]

RNM 4X08

So many people talked about this episode as if it was going to pay back for everything lacking in this season, at least for the Alex and Malex part of it.

People hoped for an Alex centric hour, for flashbacks, for feral Michael. Instead, there wasn't anything like this in the episode. Selling it like an episode for Malex fans was unfair, if not a blatant lie. How can it really be about a couple if they aren't the focus? If everything about them is twisted to be a mirror for someone else? There was so much Echo that it was insane. I know they're the main couple, I'm well aware, but can something not be about them? For once? At least in another character's storyline. But then, I ask myself, why am I surprised? Like always, it's Alex's story but it's not really about him. It's about everyone else. Perceiving him is about Maria and her powers, and keeping secret that he's missing is about Max and Liz's relationship. Not even Michael going feral is strictly about Alex but more about the way he reacts to things. All the promised snapping and going crazy lasted the blink of an eye and then it was all good. Michael got level headed surprisingly fast. I mean, good for him. He's really the pinnacle of emotional maturity this year. He even ends up apologizing to everyone, like he is the one in the wrong. But again, when did RNM allow anyone to be really angry? Never. If a character is lucky, it gets to scream a little bit, throw some punches or a few dirty looks around, and that's it. Unless you're Michael and you're angry at Alex. Then it's going to last two and a half seasons. 

So, no Alex, absolutely no flashback of any kind, and not enough feral Michael IMO. So great for an episode that was "for Malex fans". 4x08 was hyped to be something it was not. It's sad. 

I'm really not capable of considering Alex's ghostly self like it's enough. I don't really know what to do with it, and with that entire music scene. I would love to be moved by it but it doesn't work for me. Great scene for Michael, but for Malex? I want to see them play together, both physically present, not like this, with a scene that's just a cheesy attempt at pleasing Malex fans. I mean, it's an alien show, it's not like I ever expected it to make sense, but I personally draw the line at this level of cheesy. It's just on the wrong side of ridiculous for me. To be fair, the same concept worked wonders for me in "Ghost", but in that case the ghost was visible. So, maybe my problem is that Alex is still nowhere to be seen, so I don't really feel anything for this "presence". Totally my problem, I get it. I was hoping for so much more in this episode, instead the only good thing that came out of it was Michael's return of perspective on the Oasis question Vs his life with Alex (and his final breakdown in Max's arms). Took long enough. 

Everything else was underwhelming for me, even other people's concerns. I didn't fully buy it, but I guess it's normal in a show where these same friendships are nonexistent since season 1. It's a struggle trying to fully believe any of it. And, even so, half of the characters don't really care for Alex, but for what he means for Michael. So, like I said before, it's a great season if you're a Guerin's fan. 

I'm happy for the fans that are enjoying this season, I really am. I envy them. Watching RNM would be so much more pleasant if I was capable of doing the same. Sadly, I'm not, and I watched 8 seasons of Arrow and 7 of Agents of shield, so I'm used to a crazy amount of angst for my favorite characters. I'm even used to not seeing my favorite for a very long time. The point is that RNM did an awful job handling Alex's situation. And I don't want to hear anything more regarding the actor's availability. It doesn't matter when the writers can't come up with a compelling solution, and they didn't here. 

Let's hope for 4x10 now, maybe we will see a glimpse of Alex at least. Or maybe not, who knows. I really hope so, though, even if I don't believe he will have any real importance outside of Malex in the rest of the season. Still, we'll have to cherish that, even be grateful for it, because it will be the only thing with Alex in it. Disappointed is not enough to explain how I feel about this. And I will still feel the same if they end up married. As the saying goes, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey… and I don't think it has been a great journey so far. 

[ravens-words]

I'm rewatching Malex scenes cause I miss the hell out of them and I decided to share my new ranking of Top Five Malex Scenes:

V • 4.02

I love this scene because it shows growth in Michael we haven't really seen before with Alex. The trust he put in him was amazing and I just love that so much.

IV • 3x10

Oooh this SCENE. Calling him Alexander, reaffirming that they are HOME to each other. And the scene after- it was simply perfection.

III • 1x01

The scene that started my obsession with Malex, and the one that made me start watching RNM in the first place. I don't know if I've said it before but one of my favorite scenes for my ships is a forehead touch, and these two not only gave me that, but also longing, pain and somehow, peace. I will never be over it.

II • 3x03

Unfortunate beanie aside (yes I'm bitter they didn't give a better one, that actually covered his ears ffs), I still can't watch this one without tearing up. The whole scene was perfection in how Alex managed to call out Michael for his self deprecation, but also managed to finally get it through his thick skull that Alex CARES- and he cares A LOT.

Annnnnnd Finally:

I • 1x12 Prison Scene

I will NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS SCENE. The show is probably gonna end with this one at the top of this list. I remember watching it and not believing what was happening, because it was so raw and real and heartbreaking. I could write a whole essay about this scene, but I won't cause this post is long enough.

I will say this though: Alex's rescue better top the angst/heartbreak/love in this scene.

[lambourngb]

Hindsight is always 20-20 but when you’re in the moment, you go with the information you have.

I’ve seen a ton on this hellscape platform about how RNM could have handled TB’s absence better. But.. what if they didn’t know how much he would be able to film? What if... it was an episode to episode decision from Tyler about what he could handle healthwise since he got his surgery AFTER they finished filming? From 4x03 through 4x07 we all could see spaces where the gang could discover that Alex was being held in quicksand and maybe that was a deliberate choice by the writers and showrunner.

Anyway I’m working on a long WIP, that had a very general “here’s where we end” outline but as I write, other stuff starts to occur to me, so I add it in, I make room. I just feel like RNM season 4 plots did the same thing, they left room for Alex, but ultimately couldn’t reintroduce him to the story until the actor gave them a go-ahead. Script drafts become shooting drafts sometimes right up to the 11th hour. 

We’ve all see how much can change from a script draft to a shooting draft, look at the pilot of RNM - they had Michael as a foster brother to Alex ffs.

Anyway that’s my .02 on season 4. YMMV.

[lovecolibri]

Sorry but today I woke up bitter, since we have this new wave of ff that describe donarou as this force that push together/make buddie realise their feelings, why there're 0 ff about linda doing the same thing? I mean we know her a lot better than firebarbie ( thanks fuck ) and she's a lot close to eddie than buck is to L. One could say that L saw buddie together, but for now it's just imagination, so why not imagine linda doing the same thing?

Sorry, this got lost in my RNM final season haze but now that 911 is almost here and we got word we are at least not cursed with having her back yet, I'm coming back around to answer this one.

And nonnie, you are SO RIGHT!! For some reason, when looking for an "outsider POV" after claiming the firefam are so desensitized to the Buddie of it all with how Buck and Eddie have been for years now, it's very telling that while we got some Ravi fics a lot of them include L , and we don't have ANY that I've seen with Linda as the outsider POV. Meanwhile, L has a dearth of her own fics, where she's the "queer guide" for Buck (or even EDDIE sometimes?!) when a) she's never given a single fuck about anyone other than herself in the few scenes we saw her in, and b) HEN AND KAREN ARE RIGHT THERE. And with Eddie's friendships with May and Linda being one of the best things to come out of season 5, it's pretty sad that she's hardly ever included in fics while everyone is doing exactly as KR did and bending over backwards to force L into a space she was never, ever needed.

[ghoulangerlee]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♥️

Oh man thank you for sending this anon 💚 below are my fav fics I've written, the E rated ones are all smut haha. Also all tog fics are Joe/Nicky :)

1. I Need to Get my Hands on All of It

(tog, ff nicky au rated E)

2. I Got a Crush on You and It's Not Just Physical

(rnm, Malex coffee shop au, rated T)

3. ride boldly ride to the end of the rainbow

(tog, wild west au, rated M)

4. and you cannot take it back

(tog, ff nicky au (the original fic), NR)

5. so lose your mind, lose track of time

(tog, canon verse, rated E)

[laufire]

RNM 3x04

Although I’m enjoying the season so far, I gotta say, the episodes feel super disconnected, this one most of all. I blame the fact that Liz (THE LEAD) and Rosa still aren’t participating in the main fucking plot :)))

I’m still extremely wary of Rosa’s storyline. I think it makes sense for the character, and that *for now* they’re keeping it in line with it being more about Rosa proyecting/exorcising her issues than about Wyatt Long’s manpain, but. I’m eyeing it. And I really want her to be more involved in the main plot/do more stuff. Now that Kyle is in peril and Long is leaving town (which made me wonder whether he’ll become a suspect, actually), I hope that’s where she’s headed. I loved her art (it always has so much personality in it, I love how they do it) and her quote about people changing and becoming who they want to be.

I feel that with this storyline I’m doing a reverse of my usual “things I roll with in fiction but wouldn’t stand for irl” LOL. Because if I was in Rosa’s shoes I WOULD try to deradicalize someone like Long -and there’s no shortage of people like Long in my hometown, so I’m not just talking out of my ass here-, less for him and more as harm reduction and for my own morals. But this could derail Rosa’s storyline in really annoying ways. And I REALLY don’t trust this show’s track record with race. On top of that, a lot of the discourse around redemption arcs~ conveniently omits the fact that only white male characters are pressumed to get them after they commit horrible acts. Why can’t Flint, a MoC, be the one to get a redemption arc instead, for example? It could’ve been painfully easy to switch their storylines, and it could’ve been interesting since Rosa actually disliked him in high school. But the show suddenly decided to care for Long’s inner life. Because white characters (and people) are afforded more complexity by others, more good faith.

I’m not TOO worried about Kyle because it feels too early in the season to fully close that plot. But if they killed him I don’t know that I could continue with the show. I adore Rosa, but her storyline isn’t grabbing me; and I dig Michael’s family drama with Nora and the dictator, but they’re not as ~dear to me. Kyle this season was the one reuniting it all. And they can’t kill him before we figure out everything with the communicator and his father!! C’mon. Anyway. I did love him this episode, helping out; and his scenes with Michael (my rareship is sailing! xDD) were great, from their bitchiness with the radio to their perspectives during their argument. The moment Michael pushes him to take cover and then removes Kyle’s hand from his shoulder asldkfjaf. This fandom is weak for not writing me multiple pages of this rareship, js.

Speaking of rareships sailing LOL, I can’t believe after my joke post about Bert x Kyle I got a mini scene asdlfjasdf, where Bert talks to Kyle and pays a compliment to his mother. I’ve also said since then that I wanted more Bert in the show, but frankly, I wish it was for more alien/conspiracy/fun stuff (like his artisanal beer or his werewolf obsession! or get into the main alien plot!), and not an Issue Storyline that I don’t even trust the show to handle properly.

Maria and Isobel’s vision quest was fun, although I resent the fact that the Liz we saw for half the episode was a fake (seriously, BRING HER TO THE DAMN MAIN PLOT ALREADY). I don’t care much for the two of them bonding, tbh, but if it’s what Maria wants, so be it. And her moments with Kyle this season have made me more lenient towards Isobel, at least. I’m also curious about some of the elements in the quest: the first things Maria sees are Michael sitting in her bar and Rosa painting her table <33. Bert is around being attacked by racists. I also dig that either/both of them pictured Kyle in his doctor getup (with the radio).

Wrt the vision itself, I’m still on denial about the dead being Kyle lol. I’ve heard all the theories: fake death to hide the aliens (I hope that can get solved because if Kyle couldn’t for some reason continue his career in medice it would CRUSH him), and his mother (please don’t) seem the most likely options after this episode. Others are Sanders (for the hints in last week’s) or even Arturo (for Rosa and Liz’s reactions, although obviously the “Valenti” crest wouldn’t make sense there). I also don’t see how it makes sense to cover Kyle’s death if Logan killed him? Unless Max tries to heal him and leaves a handprint. Anyway, I hope none of the above die and it can be resolved. And BTW: the SPN war flashbacks I’ve witnessed in the tags with the “killing” method are. Something. I think RNM still kept the scene dramatic and the audience concerned, but man. The risk of that reference... I don’t know that it was worth it lol.

BRING LIZ TO THE MAIN STORYLINE FFS. I like what we see of her on LA in abstract, but in practice... she’s the lead ffs. One episode where she’s out and having a nice time dancing (those scenes were lovely, admittedly) like this one can be great, but after three episodes where she’s been so removed of it all? Nuh huh. Given recent events (Kyle’s attack, the handprint on her chest reacting, her resignation) I hope it changes soon. And I hope Heath can be taken at face value, because I don’t trust this show’s track record with MoC that could inconvenience its storylines (see Noah and Diego, or even Flint). Also, I LOLED at her dream in the beginning, with her imagining Max apologizing to her and expressing her own concerns about getting lost in their relationship lmfao (as if that would ever cross his mind xD).

His scenes with Kyle seem designed to get Michael out of his funk wrt his heritage, and I appreciate it (especially if it’s THIS, and not the useless or even counterproductive pep talks of anyone else Michael cares more about that does the trick lol). I’m still eagerly awaiting for development on this front. Related to that, I’ve seen the theories about Jones being his father, but. Eh. It’s not that I don’t see how it could be possible (he’s incredibly powerful and can make fire), but. To put it bluntly? I don’t think the actor can pull off what I want from the Dictator. I want someone charismatic, and preferably visibly older than Michael that actually looks like his father. Jones would be a terrible miscast on both accounts. If they bring someone else JUST for Michael it could also be a sign of him really taking over the storyline (which I’m still iffy about because of my other faves, but it’s an interesting way to see where the show is headed).

I feel they could have taken Jones to more interesting places but there’s still time. The good news is that he shaved his godawful beard AND saved a dog’s life lol. Also, am I the only one that thought he might’ve known Noah, when he grabbed his and Isobel’s picture? I’m curious about that.

[a1kitkat]

I forgot FF last week and Thrownaway Thursday this week so I’m thinking of alternating these as I feel like it…

From a very early RNM fic, before we knew any actual backstory for the characters. Inspired by an episode of OG Roswell

***************

“Highest GPA in the class?” Manes didn’t look amused. “If that doesn’t make you a ‘smarty pants’-” he used his free hand to emphasise his use of the words ‘smarty pants’.

“I need your help” Michael cut him off mid-sentence.

Manes had the gall to laugh at him which just made Michael all the more annoyed. It was cold and he wasn’t in the mood for this. He reached into his bag and pulled out the assignment.

“We have to answer these questions then write a paper based on the answers we give” Michael explained “and if one of us doesn’t do it, we both fail”

“Oh, the humanity”

“Hey, you might not care but I do”

Manes eyed him up and down.

“Why do you even care?” He asked.

“Why don’t you?” Michael wanted to know.

“Is that one of the questions?”

“No, but you asked. I’ll answer if you do”

“I don’t give a crap about school” Manes replied and Michael immediately knew he was telling the truth “the second I graduate, I have to enlist, to serve my country and grades aren’t needed for that”

“I don’t give a crap about school either” Michael confessed.

“Yeah, right” Manes rolled his eyes.

“I don’t but studying gives me an excuse to not be at home... school, the library, anywhere is better than being at home”

They stared at each other for a long moment until Manes reached for another beer and offered it to Michael. He took it and threw back a long swig.

“You don’t like being at home?” Manes asked. Something in his eyes had softened just the tiniest bit.

“Foster care isn’t all it’s cracked up to be” Michael admitted. He tried to casually shrug it off but couldn’t quite manage it. Images flashed through his mind, hiding under his bed or fleeing out the window in the middle of the night “my foster father just keeps me around for the monthly check” he took another swig from the bottle. “So I started spending more and more time at the library. There wasn’t a great deal to do there so I found myself actually doing my homework”

“The library?” Manes snorted.

“Not all the time; some nights I’d come here to sleep” Michael admitted.

“You’d come here?” there was more than a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“The fence keeps vermin out and no one ever comes here after midnight”

Michael turned and headed towards a lopsided bench; he heard footsteps following him. Once he reached the bench, he kicked the broken cement leg with his foot. Manes looked at where he was pointing.

“MG was here?” Manes read aloud.

“I had to leave my own piece of graffiti behind” Michael tried to sound nonchalant but his voice broke at the memory of the night he’d written it.

“The point is I don’t care” Michael continued “not about school but a scholarship is my only way out of here and the only way to get one is to not fail my assignments”

“Does he lose his temper?” Manes asked.

His voice was low, eyes still gazing at the graffiti on the bench that Michael wasn’t even sure the other man had spoken.

“Who?” He asked.

“Your foster father” Manes still didn’t look up.

“Only when he’s drunk... which is a lot of the time”

“Does he...” Manes turned away, took a mouthful of beer “does he beat you?”

There was something in his voice that made Michael want to tell him the truth and another part of him was mad at himself for wanting to open up.

“Sometimes” Michael’s voice was barely a whisper “but you can’t tell anyone... Ever, okay?”

“My dad hits me too” Manes replied.

Michael felt uneasiness in his chest as he frowned at the admission.

“What reason could he possibly-?” he started.

“Disappointment in my... life choices” Manes was vague in his response but at least they now had something to hold over the other.

“Look, I really don’t have time for all this” Michael waved the piece of paper before them to break the weird mood between them. “Can you just answer these so I can leave?”

“You can leave right now. We’re done here, Guerin”

Manes downed the rest of his beer in one go then tossed the bottle aside. He picked up his board, turned his back on Michael and stormed off.

Perhaps hanging out at the condemned skate park, drinking beer all day wasn’t the greatest life choice Manes could make but once he was away from Roswell and serving in the army, his father couldn’t not be proud of him. Beating him for childish behaviour was just stupid in Michael’s eyes. He wondered if he’d get in trouble for putting that in his paper.

Knowing their conversation was over, he turned tail and left but he dared to look back when he reached the fence and he saw Manes watching. He could already read the regret on the other man’s face at realizing he’d told Michael too much.

[cakebeam]

The whole 'people don't treat Alex as an invalid because his leg is missing' thing Carina was always going on about was cute for about 2 minutes before it veered into 'this show wants cookies for diversity without doing any of the work and then acting like it's somehow groundbreaking for it'. Alex's leg would have a significant impact on whatever romantic relationship he's in, and acting otherwise is bizarre. It would have required 20 seconds after the Caulfield explosion to have either Kyle or Michael asking Alex if he's hurting. No one expected Michael to not want to stay with his mom ffs. And there were a bunch of similar scenarios where it could have been brought up during both seasons. It's important both to have a partner of a disabled person be able to ask about it and for Alex to learn to accept help and even ask for it. It's a pretty basic ask, regardless of what your previous troll anon thinks.

I agree with you, I would prefer Michael checking in with Alex about his prosthetic or leg pain from using it. He’s suppose to be the main love interest to Alex, it only makes sense to do that. Alex is constantly checking in with Michael, why not show Michael doing the same? We still don’t know if Alex prefers people to ignore his disability or not, he never seems allowed to ever talk about his feelings on his loss of limb or PTSD on the show. RNM is literally erasing Alex’s disabilities from the narrative. I’ve brought this up before in memes I’ve made but I truly believe Alex no longer needing his crutch when Miluca started in 1x09 was a writing move to have viewers sympathize less with Alex. Removing the crutch from screen and not having the other characters talk to Alex ever about his disabilities is not normalizing having disabilities, it’s trying to gain some diversity points without actually showcasing representation on screen. Now that Miluca is over I’m betting Alex will finally talk about what happened to him when he went to war and how he lost his leg. He may even get the crutch back. None of what happened in the past two seasons was about normalizing having a disability in my opinion. It was a ploy by Carina to use whenever she felt necessary and when Miluca began she decided to make Alex’s crutch disappear to boost Miluca. I think it’s also why none of the other characters ever spoke to Alex about it at all (other than Forrest one time). LET ALEX BE ALLOWED TO BRING HIS DISABILITIES INTO THE NARRATIVE, THEY SHOULD BE SEEN!

[piccolocervo]

The reason is you

Type: SongFic

Summery: Michael's response to Alex's song.

Note Author: English Is not my first language and this is my first FF of RNM.

Michael had just walked into the Wild Pony with Isobel. He was heading for the bar counter when he heard the singer's voice. He stopped abruptly and slowly turned to the little stage. Alex was there and he was singing. Their eyes met. The soldier smiled and continued singing, putting more emotion into each word. Michael was enchanted. He didn't stop looking at him and in his mind the only thought was how beautiful Alex was in that moment. Then the magic broke. The engineer's gaze fell on Forrest who was looking at Alex proudly. Michael shook his head slightly and motioned for Isobel to go. Then he turned to leave the bar.

-Michael, don't leave- called the blonde putting a hand on his shoulder.

-It's a sad story, me and Alex- replied the curly alien glancing at the soldier.

-I have to walk away so we can start a new one someday- he continued and then turned to Isobel.

-It's not our time right now

-But it will be- reassured the blonde.

Michael looked back at Alex.

-Stay- Isobel told him. The engineer nodded.

He listened to the whole song. A song about him. About them.

"I wish i found the words when we were seventeen, you were the best of me. You are the best of me"

During these last lines the soldier looked up at him. Their eyes met. For a minute they stared at each other. The applause brought them back to reality. Alex got up and walked over to Forrest.

-Well, damn, how do you feel? - asked the historian smiling.

-Like i just sang a song about a guy in front of a bunch of cowboys, and ... i don't care- replied Alex.

-Oh, lucky guy with a song like that- said Forrest looking into his eyes.

-Yeah but ...- the soldier began to say but the noise of the guitar interrupted him. He turned and what he saw amazed him. Guerin was on the stage, facing the microphone with the guitar in hand.

After the applause brought him back to reality, the alien cowboy followed the soldier with his eyes. He saw him talking to Forrest and something clicked inside Michael. Without hesitation he headed for the stage.

-Michael,where are you going? - Isobel asked surprised.

-To have my say- replied the engineer, determinated.

As soon as he got on, he picked up the guitar. He took a deep breath and then started playing.

"I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so, I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you"

[angrycowboy]

So my original idea was to just tackle my thoughts on RNM’s portrayal of Michael Guerin’s bisexuality, which is something I have loved a lot. But then 2x06 aired, and we got some beautiful insight into Alex Manes, and I had to shift gears a bit to include that.

Because I know tensions regarding this episode are high, consider this a warning - I am going to talk about Michael and Alex, and a bit about the airstream scene in 2x06. And I am going to discuss how it has resonated with me in a positive way. But mostly, this is about how sexuality is complicated, and how amazing it is to see depictions on television that truly make me feel seen.

One of my favorite things about Michael Guerin, and about how RNM has chosen to portray his bisexuality, is that it’s not obvious. He doesn’t feel the need to talk about it, or discuss it - and in fact, only offers it up to Isobel in 1x10 as she’s questioning her own feelings in an effort to make her feel more comfortable. Later in 1x11, he snaps at Max because well, Max has just poked and prodded at him talk (and they’re stuck in the bunker together with nothing else to do). And someone who isn’t comfortable in who they are doesn’t say things like, “It’s not that complicated.” That is something firmly in the camp of yeah, this is who I am, what of it? Because make no mistake, it is incredibly important to me to hear characters like Michael Guerin self-identify on screen as bisexual.

Part of this portrayal can of course, also be attributed to Michael’s upbringing in the foster care system, where talking about himself was never encouraged or allowed. Because I don’t think, given how it is repeatedly reinforced that Michael shunned most aspects of humanity on Earth, that he was ever ashamed of his sexuality. Though I do believe that said upbringing did affect his own feelings of self-worth, and how he saw himself in the eyes of others.

Something I’ve seen mentioned a lot are two interactions we see on screen: between Alex & Maria in 1x10, and between Maria & Liz in 1x13, and the idea that there is “outing” of Michael. And while, I do understand and respect a lot of those arguments, especially regarding their importance regarding the LGBTQ community as a whole, something I don’t see discussed are people who don’t necessarily want to have a formal coming out, or who don’t feel the need to initiate those conversations regarding their sexuality. Even though yes, both Alex and Maria do technically out Michael (though neither do it with any malicious intent), I don't believe that Michael himself would care that other people know he is bisexual (his feelings for Alex are a different story entirely). And part of that may be that he doesn't believe anyone else thinks of him that much to even discuss him due to that upbringing he had, and also because the act of coming out would involve the feeling of being under a microscope (thanks for that wording, Riley), and Michael Guerin would definitely want to avoid that.

But back to my original point - at no point during Season 1 does Michael Guerin give the impression that he is ashamed of his sexuality - the lack of bringing it up first does not read that way to me. It reads more as Michael sees it simply as part of who he is, and that’s it. He can’t change it, and he’s already different (he’s a literal alien, ffs), so why worry about it. It very much reminds me of how I have viewed my own sexuality for years - it is simply just part of who I am. I have never felt the need to sit anyone down and announce my sexuality - in fact, I came out to my mother as I was walking out the door to go on a date. She asked what his name was, and I just replied what her name was.

But there seems to exist this idea within the LGBTQ community that every person needs to have a “coming out.” That we need to be completely in control of who knows, and how they find out, and when they find out, which is not something I agree with completely. Now, also know that I understand the importance of this idea to many, because of rampant homophobic attitudes that remain present within our society. But I see very few people discussing and supporting those of us who would rather not have to announce it in some grand way - because is this not also allowing someone to control their narrative? It has definitely made me wonder how different my own acceptance of my sexuality could have been had I believed that it wasn’t a requirement for me to come out to the people in my life (an idea which sends my anxiety into a tailspin, tbh).

Again, this is just my perspective regarding the overall portrayal of Michael’s bisexuality. It is not meant to act as a correct version, just sharing why I have particularly enjoyed what RNM has done.

But it was not Michael Guerin that made me want to write fanfic, and it was not Michael Guerin that truly made me love this show - it was in fact, Alex Manes. It was Alex Manes, who is confrontational, who is analytical, who needs facts first and who lives so much within his own head, that truly drew me into this show. Alex Manes who very clearly has struggled not with the fact that he is gay, but with that outward expression of his sexuality. In canon, this is very much due to the trauma of his childhood, to growing up in an abusive household that rejected everything about who he was as a person, and tried to force him into a box that was very much not who he is. And while I did not have that kind of upbringing, the idea of believing you won’t be accepted even among the people who should love you unconditionally is a universal feeling within the LGBTQ community. 

Alex’s talk with Maria in the truck is perhaps some of the most relatable queer representation I’ve ever seen. Because it dives into the different types of love and attraction and how not every touch between two people needs to be sexual in nature. And it lays out very plainly how important it is to have trust between people. But it’s also about recognizing what you do want, and accepting that for yourself. And that conversation is so important toward understanding what happens later on in the Airstream.

Because Alex, due to his upbringing, doesn’t believe that he is worthy of being loved in that way. When Maria comforts Michael over the realization that he could have lost both of them, Alex says he should go, not because he doesn’t want to be there. He says it because he feels like he shouldn’t be allowed to be there, to want to be there. Alex feels like an intrusion, even though he’s gone through the same horrifying ordeal and he’s with two people he loves and feels safe around. Maria recognizes that immediately, and moves back to Alex in order to give him the safety he needs as well. Maria is acting in regards to both of the boys love languages - Alex needs that physical touch of reassurance (kissing him), Michael needs to hear it verbally (”it’s okay”). And furthermore, they all need each other in that moment (”I just want us all safe”).

But it is specifically Alex’s speech in the truck earlier, about touch and self-acceptance that has me sobbing every time I watch it. Because even though I got my first crush on a girl as a teenager, it wasn’t until years later that I actually allowed myself to act on that. It was only years later that I learned just how different my attraction toward men and women really was, that I enjoyed different things for different reasons from the different sexes and that was okay. So that speech has just really resonated with me as a bisexual woman who struggled for years with acceptance of her sexuality, of being able to act on it, and it makes me incredibly happy to see a television show (A CW SHOW ABOUT COWBOY ALIENS OK) conquering these things in such a relatable way.

All of this ended up making me go back to something Chasing wrote last year about Michael’s bisexuality, and the portrayal we’re seeing, and something she said in her meta: “No one is harder on queer representation and queer media than queer people - and I get it. We’ve had so much bad representation and we’re sick of it and that’s understandable. But it’s turned into this thing where every slice of representation has to be Perfect or it’s Garbage, and it’s leading creators to not want to try because they’re so harshly run off every time they do. And when they don’t try, they don’t learn, and when they don’t learn, they don’t do better.” So maybe the rep isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a valiant effort being made to reach out to an underrepresented community. And for me personally, the depiction doesn’t have to be perfect, because people aren’t perfect, and sexuality isn’t one size fits all. What may make one person feel seen and understood, another may not see themselves represented at all - but that’s okay. Because with more representation in media, comes different tellings and stories, and comes different ways people can relate because the queer community is not a monolith. We all look at things through different lenses and experiences, but it becomes hurtful when those who don’t see themselves represented in a specific piece of media start telling those who do that they are wrong. And I wish more people would take that into consideration during discussions and criticisms.

Finally, I want to end with this gif, because woo boy. This face and that look. I know that look. I have made that look. This look is so goddamn recognizable and familiar. Because there’s also something about knowing you’re watching an actor who has probably also gone through a lot of these same feelings the character is expressing, that it just comes through in their performance and makes it all the more relatable and real (and especially how even the script itself makes it obvious it was written by people in the queer community).

[chiefnooniensingh]

I Won’t Hesitate (for you) Chapter 12

Chapter 12: What is lost will be found (when the truth hunts you down)

In this chapter: The truth.

A/n:  Oh my god guys. Here we are. I'm so nervous about this chapter because I am equally excited and nervous about your reaction to it! After this, there's only an epilogue left. Enjoy, and please let me know what you thought of it!

As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter, @ladymajavader and May (@merlinss) over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading. I don't know if I would've finished it without you guys!

@hmd23 guessed it, last week's chapter title was from Third Eye Blind again. Congratulations!

Can anyone guess this week's?

Also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

January, 1934

Liz Ortecho, now 23 and wise beyond her years, entered the little cabin she had rented, a newspaper clutched in her hand. They were living just outside of New York, trailing a ghost that refused to be found.

They’d travelled all across the country; starting from New Mexico, they went to San Diego, Sacramento and Seattle, travelling north past the Canadian border, even going so far as Calgary, before returning to the States to follow even the smallest hints of Rosa’s killed.

Five years they’d searched. Five years of barely any food, finding work wherever they could, and constant disappointment. They’d built up a steady network of informants, through a mix of bribery, good Samaritanism and flirting, but apparently Rosa’s murderer instilled fear in the hearts of men. Not many were willing to sell him out. Those who were, quickly dropped off the radar after that.

Liz knew she was being watched. She’d seen the shadows in the corner of her eye, the unremarkable cars in her rear-view mirror. She knew, if she ever got truly close, she’d probably end up dead. But she was determined and so were her travel companions. Rosa’s killer needed to be unmasked, taken off the board, or he’d kill again.

“I have news and you’re not going to like it!” Liz announced as she entered the tiny living room. The other two women immediately joined her at the table. Liz smacked down the paper, pointing at a small article, accompanied by a picture.

The immigrant man Sheriff Valenti had had to let go because of lack of proof. Looking fancy and happy, standing next to an absolutely gorgeous blonde young woman. “That’s him,” her friend said, her voice shaking, “that’s Rosa’s killer.”

“I’m pretty sure, too, yes. Sheriff Valenti was never able to get any proof, but…he’s the only suspect we have. Either we cross him off the list or we get the bastard. Either way, we need to find him.” Liz looked at the picture, her face hardening. “And he just made it extremely easy.”

The headline read:  Oil Mogul Noah Bracken (33) and noted event planner Isobel Evans (25) tie the knot in Malibu.

Liz looked up at her companions, who looked back with the same determination on their face. “Alright, call everybody. Michael, Kyle, my dad…” She felt her lips pull into a sardonic smile. “We’re going to plan a murder.”

Maria and Mimi DeLuca nodded, heading off to pack up their stuff and call the cavalry. Maria had grown up with Rosa, had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. Mimi had taken care of Rosa, and Liz when she came along, for years. When news reached them of Rosa’s disappearance, Mimi had wanted to return immediately. Mr DeLuca’s illness prevented that. When Michael called another few weeks later to tell them Rosa’s body had been found, just days after Mr DeLuca’s own passing…something broke in Mrs DeLuca, and she was never the same again.

Both were extremely determined to hunt down and kill the monster who killed that little girl.

Present day, 22nd of October, 9PM

Alex was standing in front of the passengers that had occupied so much of his mind for the past three days. He looked over all of them, and he wondered why he hadn’t seen it before, why he’d missed all the little things that could’ve tipped him off. He wondered if he was getting rusty.

They were all sitting in the dining carriage, their chairs moved to face Alex, who was standing with his back to door. He had always been able to command a room with just his silence, and now, too, people were waiting for him to speak.

“Thank you for coming,” Alex began, his eyes locking with each of them in turn. Isobel Evans, Max Evans, Beth and Arthur Otto, Kyle Vale, Maria and Mimi DeLuca and…Michael Guerin. All of them liars. All of them trying to hide themselves from him. But the jig was up, the curtain had fallen, and Alex could see clearly now. He continued. “I have a decision to make. I need to decide what to tell the police when we arrive in Paris tomorrow. And I was hoping you all could help me.” He saw the surprise on Michael’s face, and most of them exchanged worried and confused looks.

“We all know there was a murder here on this train. I have been working relentlessly to find out who did it, and after three days of hard searching I have narrowed it down to two theories. I will lay out these two theories before you now.”

Several people shifted in their seats, others smoothed down their clothes. Alex couldn’t help a small, half-smile that played around his lips. “My first theory is as follows. In 1920, Noah Bracken kidnapped and killed Rosa Ortecho in revenge over a workplace dispute with her father, Arturo Ortecho.” Alex let his gaze fall on Mr Otto, who blushed and lowered his eyes. “Rosa was loved by many, and her death instilled a rage in the hearts of those who loved her, none more than in the heart of her sister, Liz Ortecho.” His eyes moved over to Beth, whose eyes were already filled with tears. “So, presumably when she turns 18, Liz sets out to find her sister’s murderer, aided by her sister’s best friend Maria, and the latter’s mother and the Ortechos’ former house maid Mimi DeLuca.” Beth, Maria and Mimi all looked at each other uneasily. “Somehow they find out who Rosa’s killer is. Maybe they saw him on a train. Maybe they read about him in a newspaper. It doesn’t really matter how; they find him anyway. So they bring in the cavalry; Rosa’s father, still grieving for his eldest daughter; Kyle Valenti – ” Kyle shifted in his seat but kept his eyes steadily on Alex, though Alex could see the tears forming in them. “ – the son of the Sheriff who tried to find Rosa’s killer and failed, killing himself with shame of it – ”

Alex took a deep breath and turned his eyes on Michael, who looked at him with clear eyes and an expression of love and acceptance on his face. “ – and finally, Michael Guerin, the boy who took care of the Ortecho sisters when he couldn’t take care of himself. Six people, who all loved and adored Rosa, who all wanted to see justice for her death, a justice the system would never give them.”

“Rosa was the brightest star on this planet,” Liz burst out, tears falling freely down her face now. “She was happy when things got tough, when dad had to work long hours, when mom died. She loved and laughed and lived and that monster took her away from this world.”

Alex merely acknowledged this outbreak with a simple bow of his head, then continued. “So they devise a plan. A plan that would bring them justice for Rosa, that would – if carried out properly – help them get away with murder. It soon becomes clear they can’t get close to him. Noah Bracken has transformed himself from illegal immigrant to an oil mogul; rich, powerful and, in almost every sense of the word, untouchable. So they approach his wife. Isobel Bracken, née Evans, who may have already figured out who her husband really is…”

“He had a box,” Isobel whispered, her voice hoarse, her eyes hard and filled with disgust. “A box filled with newspaper clippings and writing. He boasted about killing that poor girl. Kept track of what the police knew. Disappeared when he needed to. I had unknowingly married a monster.” Max put a hand on hers, and she trailed off again.

Alex continued again, as if he had never been interrupted. “Isobel, having figured out who her husband really is, realizes nobody will believe her. Noah Bracken is rich and powerful, surely he would never harm a child? So when Rosa Ortecho’s loved ones show up with half a plan, she knows the only way out is through; she has to kill her husband. She knows someone in the police department of Roswell, someone with access and credibility and skills. Her own brother Max. This is also presumably how the two siblings find their long, lost brother; by planning a murder.”

“I couldn’t believe it when we suddenly were face to face,” Max muttered, glancing towards his brother. “After searching for so long, to find him in the middle of this awful tragedy.”

“So now the group is 8, and they need a plan. A plan that can help them get away with murder. A plan so intricate that even the most brilliant minds would have a hard time finding the truth.”

“Such modesty,” Michael muttered with a small smile, and despite everything, the group chuckled.

Alex smiled, too, but continued. “And then, a window of opportunity. Noah Bracken has a meeting in Istanbul with other big oil companies, and Isobel manages to convince him that they should make this a little holiday. Fly to Istanbul, spend a few days there, and taking the scenic route back; the Orient Express. A little…second honeymoon, as it were. What reason would Noah Bracken have to doubt his loving wife? She’s an exceptional actress and has not once slipped up in her façade of loving him, though she has known, at that point, for a long time. So, they come together to plan the perfect murder.”

Alex started pacing slowly up and down the dining carriage, his leg already twinging, but biting through the pain, nonetheless. He needed to get through it, he needed to know their reactions to his theory. “Isobel has her own income from her business, so she buys out an entire car on the Orient Express, two for her and her husband, and 6 for the remaining group. Michael gets a job at the Compagnie, getting himself stationed aboard the Istanbul-Paris line. There needs to be a minimum appearance of foul play. Coincidences is where they hope to confuse and befuddle anyone who tries to look closer. Simply coincidence that Isobel’s brother is on the train. Simply coincidence that the Ortechos’ house maid and her daughter are on board. Coincidences hide facts more completely than people think. This group of avengers realize this.” Alex looked at all of them in turn. Liz was still silently crying, with her head on her father’s shoulder, who in his turn looked stricken, almost sick. Mimi and Maria were sitting straight-backed, staring right at him, almost challenging him to continue. Kyle stared at his hands. Michael merely looked at Alex, an expression of pure wonder and awe on his face.

It almost made Alex falter.

“They needed a weapon that would also be a coincidence. The knife Michael always carried with him, because it reminded him of his first great love.” They locked eyes and for the first time, a single tear escaped Michael’s eyes. Alex’s heart ached. “And so they plan, first finding the perfect time to commit the murder. Kyle has medical training, and he knows that cold decreases body temperature faster than usual. So the time of death needs to be when the train passes through the coldest regions; the Alps. The decreased body temperature will not only throw off the time of death to a time that coincides with a brief stop and will provide alibis for them all. For who is awake at 3 the morning? Isobel starts taking sleep medication, weeks, maybe even months in advance, complaining of insomnia to her doctor who is fooled – again, she is a terrific actress – so that she cannot be the murderer; she was asleep, heavily medicated, so how could she possibly have killed her husband?”

Alex stopped for a moment to prop himself up on a table, unable to take the twinge in his leg any longer. “And so, on the morning of the 19th of October, 6 seemingly random people board the Orient Express, pretending not to know each other, knowing they are stepping into a closed environment with a murderer. In the evening, either Isobel or Michael put a sedative in Noah Bracken’s evening tea.”

“I did that,” Isobel said, her voice strong. She looked hardened and sure of herself, a stark comparison to the shocked and traumatized girl Alex had seen that first morning. “Michael brought the tea, but I put the Barbital in his drink. I knew if he woke up at any point, he would be able to fight back and win. He was a terrifying man, Mr Manes.”

Alex inclined his head. “At 4AM that night, everybody sneaks towards the Brackens’ cabin. Every one of these people has a reason to want Noah Bracken dead. So instead of just one person committing this murder, the knife Michael brought exchanges hands. This has the added benefit of thoroughly confusing any coroner examining the body, because not one of the stab wounds has the same depth and patterns. So every single one of the hurt and grieving people takes a stab at Noah Bracken’s chest, ending his life like he ended Rosa’s, justice finally done, Rosa’s spirit finally at peace.” Alex took a breath, examining the faces of the people in front of him. Liz and Arturo were quietly sobbing, Max holding Liz’s hand tightly. Michael’s face was wet as well, but a small smile played around his lips, too. Kyle was white as a sheet, his face taut with emotion. Maria and Mimi were holding each other’s hands tightly, their knuckles turning white. Isobel just stared at Alex, an open challenge. Alex let them all absorb the information he had laid out so far.

After a minute or two, he cleared his throat. “Now there was one thing none of them counted on. Passenger number nine. The unknown variable. I believe they tried to fill it with someone they trusted, a Miss Cameron. But she never showed up, so the cabin was given to a man who had already tried to get a ticket to Paris, but failed. Me. When the group realized a renowned private detective had somehow gotten aboard the train and straight into their meticulously planned out murder, I believe they panicked. Maybe they tried to blow the whole plan off, to try again at a later date. But they knew this was their one shot. So they went through with the plan. I think Michael was supposed to be my distraction, an actual coincidence that we had known each other in a previous life. He’d always been rather good at that, and maybe he was supposed to be that again. And it worked. For a while.”

“In the end, it was you who distracted me,” Michael said, with a shrug. “Long enough to understand that you are more important to me than anything in this world.”

Alex’s heart twisted in the best way, but he ignored it and continued on. “The group tried everything to throw sand in my face. The fake identification papers were a stroke of brilliance. The broken timeclock. Even stabbing Liz. I presume that was your doing, doctor Valenti.” Kyle inclined his head. “I still don’t understand the placement of the half-burned newspaper clipping, though – ”

“ – that was Noah’s doing,” Isobel interrupted, shrugging. “When he realized you were on board, he burned all his memorabilia he always carried with him, so you couldn’t inadvertently catch him. You scared him, Mr Manes. And my husband didn’t scare easy.” She gave him an impressed smile.

Alex inclined his head towards her slightly. “In the end, I realized I should’ve seen it before. Should’ve realized who each and every one of you was. I think Michael’s distraction worked beautifully. If only it had worked a little longer.” He let a silence fall, the group digesting Alex’s words slowly. Michael reached over and squeezed Alex’s hand. Alex squeezed back.

The silence stretched between them all, as each tried to compose themselves. After a few minutes, when even Kyle had lifted his head to look Alex in the eye again, Alex pushed himself off the table and went back to the middle of the room, facing all of them. “It’s the most plausible theory I have, it is true. But it is not bulletproof. While I have uncovered every identity, I have not a single shred of proof.”

“You said you had another theory?” Michael said, sharpest of them all, the love of his life, and Alex smiled.

“I do. After I lay out this theory, each and every one of us is going to have to make a choice. A choice that we will have to live with, one way or another.”

“Share it with us, Alex,’ Liz said, wiping her nose on her sleeve and looking up at him, trust in her eyes. She trusted him still, after all this.

Alex inclined his head. “Noah Bracken was murdered at 3AM when we were stopped in Vinkovci. An unknown assassin slipped on board this train while the conductor was making his scheduled telephone call, killed Noah Bracken in his sleep and locked the door to incriminate his sleeping wife. Then he slipped out through the window, which he left open, and disappeared into the night.”

A stunned silence fell in the dining carriage. Everyone was staring at Alex, then at each other and then back at Alex. Alex knew it was the simplest theory of all the ones he’d run through his head, and the one that had the least chance of ever being proven wrong. “Are you…are you serious?” Isobel said, leaning forward and staring up at Alex. “That’s…that’s your other theory? After you spend 20 minutes explaining your first one?”

“The simplest theories are often the truest, Ms Evans,” Alex said with a small smile that made Michael chuckle. “Every investigator knows this.”

“But in this case…” Liz started, but Alex held up a hand.

“In this case, I am faced with a choice. A choice of what I will tell the French police that will be waiting for me in Paris. If I choose option 1, you will all go to trial for murder. You may get off, since the theory I have is merely a theory. But your lives as you know it will be over. I will have to live with putting the man I love and good people to whom bad things have happened, behind bars.” Alex swallowed thickly. “If I choose option 2, you all walk away from this, and we will all have to live the rest of our lives knowing the truth. You will have to live with blood on your hands. And I will have to live with letting murderers walk free.”

Alex put his hands in his pockets as he looked at all of them. They were all looking at him, scared, afraid of his judgement, of his choice. But Alex shook his head. “I cannot make this decision alone. This is going to affect all of us. So we are all going to make a choice. And whatever we decide, that decision will haunt us for the rest of our lives.”

A stunned silence followed that. Alex looked at them all in turn, ending on Michael’s face which was filled with love and hurt and fear, mixed with just a tiny hint of pride.

“So,” Alex said, “what’s it going to be?”

[lesbianmaxevans]

17, 18, 19, and 20?

17. Top 5 “deserved better” characters

ok this is deserved better from the writers bc that’s a different list than deserves better from fandom (bc deserves better from fandom will just end up being practically every char who isn’t a cis white dude lol)

honestly? given my rnm fixation I’m gonna say liz as #1 bc like..........what has she done in s2?? like liz literally drove the plot in s1!! she was allowed to be angry!! meanwhile s2 hasn’t let liz do anything besides work to save max (and that plot was somewhat sidelined.......) and now practically all her screentime since he’s been back has been echo scenes.....like y’all know I love echo but LIKE????? carina she’s your lead!!! why isn’t she getting the focus she deserves

abbie mills....... I don’t think this even needs an explanation. fuck the sleepy hollow writers they were trash

wes gibbins.........  the htgawm writers can fucking choke they rlly gave wes that traumatc backstory and kept taking ppl he cared about away from him and giving him more trauma and then killed him off???? I will never stop being ENRAGED

nacho vargas. vince.......... let him live he’s been through so much he deserves a BREAK!!!!!!

darla sutton and charley bordelon and violet bordelon...........queen sugar writers why are my ladies suffering 24/7 ffs let them be happy for more than 5 seconds is2g

bonus bc I love him and he was my fave char FOR YEARS afsghjfhjk but ryan fletcher........... he just wanted the truth and to get justice for nikita and the writers rlly just. killed him off for unnecessary angst.......like why..............also lol the show repeatedly made the point that nikita Needed him, if only bc his faith in her gave her the motivation to keep fighting, and yet....... nikita thought he died three (3) times....... why did the writers fucking hate me personally gOD

18. Top 5 characters I most relate to

max evans. himst. I’ve said this before but just. his depression....his feeling guilt for any situation he’s even indirectly part of...... his protective nature and how he’d do absolutely anything for the ppl most important to him...... how deeply he cares about others (can u say hyperempathy??)..... his explosive anger that stems from trauma..... like wow lov that traumatized autistic lesbian we are truly the Same Person

tyrell wellick. his obsessive tendencies.......called out. his loyalty to ppl who wouldn’t ever prioritize him and treat him badly.........oof def something I’m starting to not do lol

diane nguyen. she was already mega relatable with how the show handled her depression but “the dog days are over”????? god the disconnect from her heritage??? I FUCKING FELT THAT

elena alvarez. lesbian who goes on angry feminist rants constantly? Me

chuck bartowski / cameron black..... chris fedak writing characters who have a traumatic childhoods and parental issues..............oof call me out also chuck’s anxiety? BABY ME FELT SO SEEN

19. Top 5 underrated characters

I’m gonna say liz again lol......fandom is truly so far up m*chael’s ass it;s exhausting. partially the fault of canon lol, but I feel like I almost never see content for liz that’s actually appreciating her as a character it;s like......overwhelmingly echo centric or like......thirst edits. like can we appreciate my gf’s smarts? can we appreciate her stubborness to get the truth? can we appreciate her compassion and caring nature?

maeve millay. I’m not super active in fandom so idk if she’s Truly underrated lol but from what I can tell fandom tends to focus on dolores, which...I think dolores is an excellent char but I’m not huge on her lol I Literally watch for maeve

eddy martinez......again I’m not quite sure she’s underrated but from what I can tell fandom seems to be waaaaaaaaay more fixated on emma and emma/cruz (back before s2 made us all 😬😬 @ cruz) and emma/nico (which I get! I am also obsessed w emma lol) but like.......god I love eddy so much. she lost her wife and it turns out her wife had been keeping secrets and then her wife;s kids aren’t exactly nice to her. I just love eddy so much if she doesn’t get to be happy by the end of the season is2g

josh chan!!!! he’s so wonderful and sweet and kind and deserves the world and he deserved so much better than rebecca’s manipulation and gaslighting and fandom just........ ignored him outside of like. making him the butt of jokes. ugh.

tyrell wellick again............lov how fandom ignored that he was mentally ill and spent all their time demonizing him lol...........

20. Top 5 overrated characters

afshdjghfkgjkhj I started ranting abt chars I don;t like bc I forgot this was faves TADFSGDHKGDJH ok

sarah walker........ honestly as an adult I’m aware that she’s very uh......male fantasy hot girl that kicks ass and like.......she doesn’t have as much depth as I’d like but........my very first wife

john silver. was he overrated? idk I feel like he got A LOT of attention but I love that asshole who consistently made bad choices afsgdfhj

cyrus goodman. I hate that fandom obsessed over him when andi and bex were RIGHT THERE but wow I lov my gay son. also his bar mitzvah episode.........I CRIED it’s truly one of my favest episodes of tv ever 

again idk if he’s overrated bc I don’t keep up w lot lol but I feel like he prob is as a white bi char lol. so uh john constantine......I loved him so much from his nbc show that’s my boy!!! I’m rlly debating getting back into lot for him afsgdjhfgj someone stop me pls

david rose. lov this disaster pansexual and fashion icon. also another explicitly jewish char 🥺🥺🥰🥰

send me asks

[ravens-words]

For the fic asks ✏️☀️😭😂

Thanks, Rachel!

✏️ What is your fave fic from another writer?

It's really tough to say because I've been reading ff for 14 years, lol, but-

For Shadow & Bone: lions and men

The Old Guard: Lingua Franca

RNM: To Trust Love

911: The Space Between Sleep

911 LS: sweetest devotion

I read for many other fandoms, but I'll spare you lol

☀️ Has anyone ever left you a comment that made your day? What did it say?

Every comment means the world, and I'm not just saying that! BUT- any comment that's detailed, mentions lines the person read and/or their reactions just makes me want to cry. I won't mention anyone bc it feels weird, but there are a few people that I honestly look forward to hearing from on every fic I post.

😭 Have you ever made yourself cry writing a fic?

Once, and it wasn't bc of my writing, but bc I imagined myself in that situation and teared up (I haven't cried in a LONG time lol) but it was while writing this one:

come back (be here)

😂 What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

Comments in all caps never fail to entertain lol.

♤ Fanfic Ask Game

[manesalex]

the walk dead and rnm if no one's asked yet?

I answered RNM here: https://chamblerstara.tumblr.com/post/190902794354/roswell-new-mexico (for some reason, tumblr doesn’t want to let me insert the link in text today, but here are my answers for TWD:

The first character I fell in love with: Glenn Rhee

The character who is my ‘baby’: I wouldn’t describe any one of them as my baby, but, if we’re defining ‘baby’ as character I would jump in front of a moving vehicle for (as I would with Alex, btw), then Carol Peletier.

The character who I do not understand: Rick Grimes. This is a well documented thing.

The character that I think the show ruined: Almost all of them at one point or another.

The most attractive male and female character: Tara Chambler/Carol Peletier (don’t make me choose) and Ezekiel.

The character death that was the worst for me: Tara Chambler. I am, in fact, so far in denial that I actually forgot for a minute what they did and was about to give a different answer. I can’t handle images from that scene. I’ll never watch it. I’ll never be over it.

The character that is the most like me: Um... I don’t know. Tara, maybe.

The character I think the writer(s) love: Daryl Dixon, though I think that’s more the network. IDK who Kang loves.

The character that I just want to be happy: Carol Peletier. Just give her some peace, ffs.

My four favorite characters, past or present: Carol Peletier, Tara Chambler, Michonne, Andrea Harrison.

My four least favorite characters, past or present: Neg@n, Rick Grimes, Shane Walsh, Abraham.